Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted a whole day.
– Mickey
Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we’ve always had: work or prison
– Tim
If you never want to see a man again, say, ‘I love you, I want to marry you. I want to have children…’ – they leave skid marks!
– Rita
I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
– Woody
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t.
– Erica
Don’t take life too seriously, you’ll never get out of it alive.
– Elbert
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
– Wendell
In life, it’s not who you know that’s important, it’s how your wife found out.
– Joey Adams
I’ve been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife findsout, she’ll kill me.
– Henry
Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?
– Benny Hill
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