Do we have any servicing centers for brains? I guess mine isn’t running well these days. I might need to change some oils or spares to be back in form. I need some technical tweaking to get back to my original self. I wonder what changed so drastically that put me in this confused position.
To start with, am missing myself. I know this is not original me. I can’t roll back to a previously saved ‘restore point’ as there is none. Something has changed that hopefully can be undone. Or may be completed all the way thoroughly and get past that stage. But for sure, am not happy with what I am right now. I mean, at this moment, right now.
- I used to sleep for 9 hours minimum every day. Now, I get 5 hours continuous sleep and if lucky, another nap for an hour before I go to work. I never compromised my sleep, for anything, at any cost. Well, am doing now. And the worst part is I am not unhappy for doing this. This ain’t me!
- My camera batteries are dead for about three weeks now. I have no motivation to buy a new set and work on the hobby. Camera is lying there on the table still, covered with dust an unused. This ain’t me!
- After knowing that I can save about Rs. 400/- every month on home telephone connection, it took 3 months to make just one phone call and change the bill plan. Am I becoming lazy?
- About three weeks ago, my hard disk died. I am hoping the data can be recovered from the two drives which have my photos and the Vista installation. All I have to do is take it to a technician and review. I almost forgot about that until I started this post!
- I used to rip my yamaha through traffic at 60-70 speeds in normal traffic and still used to feel confident I can stop the bike if I had to, at any moment. I bid farewell to yamaha and got an Activa. That’s not the issue; now my heart beat increases if I cross 50 kmph in city traffic now. Am I scared of something unfortunate?
- I am addicted to Internet. Earlier, all I used to connect to Internet was for about an hour everyday. Check gmail, be online for that duration and get the hell out of there. Even orkut, I used to reply to any scraps I received. Now, I got on facebook as well. I am online for hours together accomplishing literally nothing. Doesn’t sound right! It’s been weeks I even checked out photos on Flickr. And months that I added an album to my Picasa!
- Blog is not bad. Though am not expressing very meaningful thoughts, I am here to maintain my presence. Is that just to let everyone know that my blog isn’t deleted yet?
- I used to wait for weekends so that I can get out and have fun. It earlier included photography expeditions, shopping and a lot more. Now, I get up on weekends and do nothing. As the weekend gets over, I feel bad because it’s over. All I do is grab my regular dose of beer and that’s it.
- Work isn’t interesting either. All those who have talked to me in the last 6-8 months at least, you know my plight here. No more comments!
- And I don’t even know why am penning down one of the worst stages of my life online. Am I looking for sympathy or a resolution by some savior? I guess no, or am not sure. Man, am so confused! 😀