The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.
I don’t have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy
If practice makes perfect, and nobody’s perfect, why practice?
It was an accident officer. I was cleaning my fingernails. With a hunting knife. And he ran into me. Backwards. 17 times!
Do not disturb. Already disturbed.
When a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $3.95 per minute.
Do you ever notice that when you’re driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?
The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
It’s no accident that ‘stressed’ spelled backwards is ‘desserts’.
I said no to drugs, but they did not listen!
The IDEAL man does not smoke, does not drink, does not flirt, goes to bed early, in short… does not exist.
Life would be a lot easier if I had the source-code.
If I can be of any help, you’re in worse trouble than I thought.
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2 Replies to “One-liners”
Thanks again! I love quotes too… You can expect a post with good quotes every week… If you have a collection of your own, forward them to me and we’ll share with everyone else… 🙂
Thanks again! I love quotes too… You can expect a post with good quotes every week… If you have a collection of your own, forward them to me and we’ll share with everyone else… 🙂
Cool quotes dude…thahst why ur blog is my favourite